Anger!

Anger, if not channelized in the right direction, kills the human inside you. Someone has rightly said ‘Anger blinds you’. It blind folds you from the bigger picture. And when this blind fold falls off the only thing you are left with is disgust towards yourself, a feeling of having acted cheaply, inhumanly! Anger makes you a bigger sinner than the person who angered you in the first place. I feel the same for what I did… probably will never have the courage to tell anyone how degraded I was in my thoughts at that moment of anger.

I can’t even spare myself by thinking that I shouldn’t be harsh on myself…I can’t. All the efforts to have a clear conscience fade away with one act of un-channelized anger. It will take more effort to heal my torn self and repair the destruction done by my action.

Musings...

Confused,

Restless and Eager... Isn't this me?

Calm,

Focused and Determined... Isn't this too me?

Funny! How every ten hours my thinking varies.

Where do I steady myself? OR do I really need to...

People usually find themselves caught in the desire to make 'their feelings' easier for themselves. I too am one of them. And when I can't do it myself I look at my loved ones to do it for me.

But when the hand extended is not taken and given a pat or a warm crush then one thinks again, back to oneself... trying to find what one really feels. Is it mutual or varies in degrees...is it just that there are different ways of manifesting the feelings or does it read into more.

And guess what? To top this situation ridiculous situation of mine I am reading 'Hamlet'...'Love In The time of Cholera' and also 'Doll's House'...all simultaneously!!!