Ammu's View

2010-12-17T18:20:00.000-08:00

What I read and tried to imply- for all those whom I've considered close to me and shared my life!

To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization that I can’t control another.

To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.

To let go is not to care for, but to care about.

To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To let go is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to criticize, or regulate anyone, but to try to become what I dream I can do.

To let go is to fear less, and to love more.

2010-12-07T23:32:00.000-08:00

Mercury rising.

I am surely not talking about quantum physics! In fact I can not talk about physics at all. This is because all I know about physics is how it is spelt. The same applies to many many topics! But let me not deviate- so, though I know nothing about physics I am told that one can see physics all around us… well, perhaps I’ve started to realize this off late! So one of my brave attempts goes like this-

It is popular belief that ‘I’ listen less and ‘talk’ more. No offense to anyone. But when so many of your dearest ones say the same line I might as well accept it otherwise what they keep saying will actually become the truth! So adhering to this popular belief I decided to think differently and start listening to what the folks around me said. A genuine attempt.

As a result of listening to my folks with as much attention as they wanted me to pay- I experienced this strange phenomenon of Mercury Rising! The steps are as under-

The conversation starts (or rather the one way talk starts). I am calm and attentive!
The talk starts titillating sensitive topics and deciphering my non-existent stance on them. I am quite but not calm!
As I keep quite the other person is encouraged and the pin pointing increases – there erupts an urgent desire to interrupt but no! One must listen first! Ok… so I compose myself with great restraint and manage to overcome my desire to speak!
Finally when all the expressions of the speaker find a desired end, they stop the conversation! I am saved!

Result- I’ve taken more than what was necessary.

So folks I know that listening is very very important but the truth also remains that every person can not always talk sense! Period! So don’t make it your regular line to tell people – ‘listen to me first’! Believe in conversations! Share and then make the other person understand. Otherwise the rising mercury cannot be always be succumbed.

2010-11-19T04:53:00.000-08:00

Missing someone...

"Amputees suffer pains, cramps, itches, in the leg that is no longer there. That is how she felt without him, feeling his presence where he no longer was... on the first instance she succeeded in removing him from her thoughts by a simple act of will. But the rage always returned, and she realized very soon that the desire to forget him was the strongest inducement for remembering him"- 'LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA' by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

Vulnerability is not a nice feeling... but it definitely makes you feel alive. That there is still something which burns inside, there is still life that yearns for more and there is still something that is precious! Life is beautiful with its ups and down!

2010-09-20T23:03:00.000-07:00

Strangers-lovers-strangers and so on..

You've heard it somewhere? Ofcourse you have my dears! its the description of the new movie - Anjana Anjani...no I am not writing a preview of the film. U'll will know as u read on...

The moment I heard the line I thought isn't it what we go through in every relation that we establish- be it new, old, strong, weak,bold or subdued! Now guys pls take a broader view of the word 'lovers' in the title. Think about the people you like and the ups and downs you had with them.

Everytime you think that you have finally known the Stranger that you so wanted to know, there is suddenly some revelation or confusion that takes you back to square one. In some relation these ups and downs happen at a slower pace and in some at a regular or faster pace but...it does happen.

Well... whatever be the final stand of the relationship(That is - if one has to take a stand in a relation) it stays true that only these ups and downs helps a relation going. The moment there are only 'downs' or for that matter 'ups' (i am serious about relations with 'only ups' in them too)the relation loses its charm.

So everyone- 'Keep Falling in Love- from Stangers to Lovers to Strangers and so on... with the same person or a different person!'

2010-08-26T21:32:00.000-07:00

Anger!

Anger, if not channelized in the right direction, kills the human inside you. Someone has rightly said ‘Anger blinds you’. It blind folds you from the bigger picture. And when this blind fold falls off the only thing you are left with is disgust towards yourself, a feeling of having acted cheaply, inhumanly! Anger makes you a bigger sinner than the person who angered you in the first place. I feel the same for what I did… probably will never have the courage to tell anyone how degraded I was in my thoughts at that moment of anger.

I can’t even spare myself by thinking that I shouldn’t be harsh on myself…I can’t. All the efforts to have a clear conscience fade away with one act of un-channelized anger. It will take more effort to heal my torn self and repair the destruction done by my action.

2010-08-03T20:46:00.000-07:00

Musings...

Confused,

Restless and Eager... Isn't this me?

Calm,

Focused and Determined... Isn't this too me?

Funny! How every ten hours my thinking varies.

Where do I steady myself? OR do I really need to...

People usually find themselves caught in the desire to make 'their feelings' easier for themselves. I too am one of them. And when I can't do it myself I look at my loved ones to do it for me.

But when the hand extended is not taken and given a pat or a warm crush then one thinks again, back to oneself... trying to find what one really feels. Is it mutual or varies in degrees...is it just that there are different ways of manifesting the feelings or does it read into more.

And guess what? To top this situation ridiculous situation of mine I am reading 'Hamlet'...'Love In The time of Cholera' and also 'Doll's House'...all simultaneously!!!

2010-07-27T22:36:00.000-07:00

Summing up...

'Summing up' would give an impression of being quite simple and easy in nature. But I think otherwise...not a rare opinion though! It is most difficult to sum up a wholeness without losing its flavor or essence. So let me make an effort here to sum up the beautiful 2 years that I was practically out of the blog world.

Marriage!!! Ah- to say in a single line - I got married happily on November 12, 2008 to Ram and since then have been happily married to the best man for me on earth. No exaggeration as everyone can see the results of marriage in me. The first year was a mad rush of settling into the new home, new family and of course a husband! The second year brought forth the thinking and the effort to bring our love for theatre to the forefront through Nishumbita. And I would proudly say that its been satisfying-

Girish Karnad's "Nagamandala' on 10th Jan,2010
K. Madhavane's "Mahabharata of Women" on 27th March,2010
Chidrens play on "Sri Aurobindo" on 10th April, 2010
Children's play "Desi Tales" on 25th April, 2010 and 11th June, 2010
Samuel Beckett's "Waiting for Godot" on 23rd July, 2010 at HTF

Not bad right?

So its been busy and rewarding for me as far as theatre and marriage was concerned. But it would be wrong on my side if I don't confess my state of confusion and dislodgement in this whole affair. I would say my mind was upto too many things and quite harsh on my own self. Probably the pressure that I had created for myself had made me unclear in mind. A state where my mind would refuse to think for itself and do things that would be out of habit or is of the natural order. But as said "Change is the only constant feature in life"...clouds of doubt- self-doubt- confusion and vagueness are beginning to clear and the self that has now come forth has a better vision to be wise, happy, active and calm!

Changes of the same processes were noticed before but for me this has been a difficult stage of confusion to cross. And Ram stood by me even when I was not myself completely or losing the strength inside me.

Yes I am Back! Very Much Back! And the motivation to express my thinking once again through writing was brought by my latest play - "Saari Raat...". Possibly my next post will be about the thought process triggered by the play.

2010-07-25T05:54:00.000-07:00

Getting BACK!!!- and seriously...

Two long years of not writing... sounds weird now. How these two years passed...is what I am wondering. But I guess I know the answer (It is definitely not a disappointing one) and hope I can spell it out here! But the credit goes to my play- the one I performed recently - 'Saari Raat...' And I can't help mentioning Sunil, who directed the play. Special mention of his because of the kind of rapport we shared intellectually.

So guys I am back!!! Keep an eye on my blog.

2008-06-29T22:56:00.000-07:00

Very Touched...

Yesterday, 29th of June- was a wonderful day for me and Ram and our core team at Nishumbita...after long we had performed before hyderabad audience... (pics coming soon) we performed the plays we took to Kolkota and Chennai. It was like a mini Children's Theatre Fest! Kids always give their best and so many smiles one day makes you go blissful in life.

But as the title of my blog goes I am writing to mention a special greeting to my dear Thulasi... Can't express how glad I was to have u around me at my special moments there... we might not share too much every time but what you've given me and Ram with just your presence every time is unfathomable! Love you!

And I also want to mention that I love u- Chitta and Prasoonetta... I could feel what it means to have family at your special moments!

2008-06-19T18:00:00.000-07:00

Talent unearthed…summer camp and the kolkota trip

Quite amazing how at the time of need, you discover new things about yourself… be it the smallest detail like you pout when you are disappointed or that you are as responsible as a king can be, at the time of calamity…

Those were the thoughts that came into my mind when I found a few details about my own self in a span of two weeks. Let’s go by Episodes-

EPISODE 1: 20-23^rd of May

To begin with – I was surprised that I could do Photoshop quite satisfactorily when I designed a poster for Jashan 2008- Ram’s Summer Camp for children between 4 to 16 years of age. I would be happy if you could take a look at it:

(Well in connection to this I can’t but mention my sweety-pie nephew – Nandan- who stayed with me to attend the camp: pls click the links below to see snaps in picasa of the summer camp culmination day program):

THE SUMMER CAMP

EPISODE 2: 30^th of May- 7^th of June

Before I start my next big discovery let me share an apprehension of mine:

I + Kids = Disaster.

The point is I love kids and so long as they are crawling and toddling I can be a best nanny to them but once they start going to school I treat them as friends. Now this can be problematic- as being friends, according to me, means the other one has to be responsible for his/her actions. Only in such cases I will back them for their efforts and support them when they want to improve themselves. This, however, works differently with kids. They are way too small to realize the ‘responsible’ part of being friends. This mismatch of opinion and reality had made me think that I might be bad influence to the lovely beginners of life. And hence my apprehensions towards my dealing with kids!

So when Ram said our team was not just supposed to give technical support but also personal care to a 25 children team, which was taking part in the 5^th National Children’s Theatre Festival in Kolkota, my insides churned. I am sure you’ll agree with me if I say -without my apprehensions itself the task was quite challenging.

But considering that children’s hero- Ram – would be there to handle them and the hope that others like Vikram, Raghu, Deepak, Avanthi and Sudha Didi (the teacher) would be better equipped than me, I stayed cool till the trip began. Little did I know that soon my assumptions…or rather our assumptions would go for a toss!

30^th May, 2008 at 4 in the evening the team (excluding Sudha Didi as she was supposed to board the train from Katkat) with 25 kids, boarded the train to Kolkota – the Super Fast Faluknama Express.

Once all was settled I was feeling on top of the world first because it was going to be a week's holiday, away from work and of course with Ram and for theatre...what can be better?

Well...before I had felt enough of reveling on the matter it was dinner time. There was lot of food as every parent was suppose to bring assigned food for all of us. So began the whole exercise of brain storming between me and Avanthi to figure out how exactly to serve the pulihora, dadhojanam and biriyani.

To conclude... the whole affair of serving the dinner was such a dog's breakfast that out of stress and shouting, me and Ram had a fight for such a silly reason and I ended up crying. The good part was that we patched up in less than two minutes (as Usual) and the bad part of it was that I had a weird feeling it is just the start...nothing looked hopeful and the way children were around and above Ram I thought I won't even get to spend time with him...

You must be wondering (at least a few of u) what must have gone wrong with the dinner serving...well, when you have 25 children insisting (read it as practical stubbornness) that they would eat junk and drink cool drink (both prohibited as they were going for a performance and could not afford to lose their voice), shouting at the top of their voices and running around in the train because of their new found freedom, one suddenly complaining of stomach ache started crying, the other insisted that she should have a middle berth while sleeping and so on and so forth ...they didn't actually seem like kids to me!!! To top all this is my habit of taking up responsibility(extremely annoying for myself and also injurious to my health) made my head reel at the end of it.

I've heard somewhere that man learns to survive in every challenging circumstance...though a far off thought, I mentioned it as one of my reasons for survival and victory during this trip. By next day afternoon I had quite become the ring leader of the lion troop that I was going with.

But little did god think of ending my suffering there and I knew that I was right in thinking - this is just a start!

When we reached the station - 31st of May- two human beings had come with a bus to receive us all. So we- Ram, I, Avanthi and one man from the 2 ppl who came to receive us, sent the kids with the rest of the team to board the bus while we waited till the other team members would drop the kids safely to the bus, come back and take all the luggage with us. It was a fool-proof plan except that Ram forgot to handover the tickets for the kids so that they can exit the railway station. So we saw Deepak coming back to us in some time to collect them. After he went in some time one of the team members called saying Deepak had not reached where they were (it was already half an hour since he left) and that he had no mobile to contact...tension... then we saw Deepak coming our way..thank god we thought...he had lost the way (was the staion so big I still don't know). So he was sent back with proper guidance and an instruction that he should just usher the kids out and immediately come back to us with the tickets to help us take the luggage tot he bus.

Well...you might think everything was fine after that...no dears not yet...

Apparently Deepak became so involved in kids safety (for which there were already 3 others) that he went straight to where the bus was...hmmm... so after realizing this fact and that it had already been an hour and a half standing on the station we decided to hire a trolley to carry the luggage till the bus... that was the first 'bokka'- 150 straight-

We reached the exit and again realized that there was an exit where you needn't show tickets so relieved we came out and rang our so called guide as to where the bus was...great news was that the bus was parked nearly two kilometers from the station...oh shucks!

The trolley didn't approve of the distance on the road so again we were stranded this time on the road...Deepak found us in some time (another half hour)... we coaxed a trolley guy to come as the bus driver said buses are not allowed anywhere around the station parking...another bokka- 100 straight-

Finally we got near the bus...but wait- the bus- it looked more like a police van without any grills on the window...never mind...next stop Heera Hotel...2 star it seems...

Well...you might think everything was fine after that...no dears not yet...

The hotel guys had given us the accommodation in one of their sister concern hotel called 'Meena Guest house'... we climbed three stories which actually resembled a haunted building...we saw the rooms that actually seemed squashed between the walls of the hotel...bathrooms fine but with insects...ok I don't remember much after that on that day...kids crying that they wanted a spacious, airy room and that they've never seen a place like that, that they are hungry, that they are sleepy .... everyone pacified, parents apologized to, dinner served, had, sleep... something inside the brain said it would not be so bad...( I was right)

Next morning- 1st of June- brought much more than the pestering calls from the parents- right from 5 in the morning- The place looked less gloomier...a little more airy and people helping each other...after all it wasn't so bad!

one more thing managed...bravo!

Evening we were suppose to join the rally that begins from Victoria Memorial and goes till Rabindra Sadan where the festival was going to be conducted.

Well...you might think everything was fine after that...no dears not yet...

none of the taxies would take more than 4 ppl, also they had to be paid 50/- each (all for a ten min drive) and the budget wouldn't allow more than 3 taxis with such a price tag...so again 'bokka' ...5 taxis and off to Victoria Memorial...beautiful palatial space with a small pond...

The rally was good and we enjoyed the performances...except that one child kept puking and the other kept going to the toilet and we elders stuck in all these...(trivial by this time)

At8.30 p.m we decided to go to the hotel...we thought looking at the weather...it would be pleasurable if we all walk down the what-so-ever little distance...kids agreed too.

We started walking...and walking and walking and walking...kept saying we've reached ...but...once the kids started complaining even the elders lost their senses...no vehicle would come to that direction...the market was open and the kids had to be saved from the stare of the local ppl and pimps eying them...we were scared but alert to the core. Finally the hotel reached...now the hotel looked almost like a heaven.

One more lesson learnt...things are farther than they appear...again pacifying crying and fighting children, serving, eating and sleep...

Next morning- 2nd- was the day to finish whatever remaining work was there on the sets. A new found confidence was seen in all the team members and kids also seemed to be enjoying themselves...why I still don't know.

Evening little kids who can't walk were sent in the taxi and the others walked down...mission neatly managed. the program culminated and we came out of the auditorium.

Well...you might think everything was fine after that...no dears not yet...

It was raining and no vehicle would come towards the direction of our hotel. hmmmmm...god's great.

The only option is the metro train. A few mins of walk and we got at the metro station at Rabindra Sadan...our hotel just three stops away...everything is fine...but the kids are scared and we are too as they outnumber us and they all have to be brought safely...And we did it!

Again I had to handle over-excited kids in the hotel...this time pouncing at the food they despised all this while...it still isn't a easy life I though!

Next morning- 3rd- the day of our performance... Extremley hectic ...after managing food, stay, mids and hearts...now it was time to manage the work of dressing up 25 kids in a limited time that too for 2 costume dramas...It went really well, the photographer took nearly 100 photos and was so happy that he gave all of it for free...

check them out:

KOLKOTA CHILDREN'S THEATRE FEST- OUR PLAYS

We made it to the hotel successfully that evening and children had a ball as they were given cool drinks and chips and what not...a great day...also I realized that sharing Ram's presence with the kids made him even more dear to me...the way he handled them and the way I handled them brought us close even more...

next morning- 4th june- sight seeing day- One temple, Science City, Picko Park...wasn't bad but mad as I had to handle travel sick kids puking all the way...The vans cost us a fortune but still it was trivial compared to the fun...oh forgot to mention the bokka- an unexpected 2000/- extra ...and you call kolkota a low cost city..I don't agree...

Well...you might think everything was fine after that...no dears not yet...

Evening we got to know that a Lightening Bandh has been announced in kolkota and that it might also be that the train are also canceled...well, we were taking the early train next morning...

we rushed tot he hotel..canceled the shopping...hurried to get whatever food we can get and whatever vehicle we can get to reach the railway station...men of our team running outside to arrange things and we ladies int he hotel handling the wailing kids...they were upset that they can't shop...so we pacified them and the men arranged everything.

next morning- 5th june- all up and ready at 4 int he morning...travel by 2 trolley trucks- one for the kids and ladies of the team and the other for the men of the team and the luggage. Mission manged well...

Well...you might think everything was fine after that...no dears not yet...

We just scrapped through the heavy storm and rainfall that attacked us while we were entering the staion...luggage and the men at the platform and the kids and ladies in the waiting room ... hmmm...god is not yet tired...

All hopes that Falaknuma would start at 7.45 am faded as they canceled East Coast express...what would happen if the train was canceled, where would we go with 25 kids..and with practically very little money....oh god give us the strength to cope!

All the stress was put on the station manager who didn't know the status of the train till 12 in the afternoon...finally we heard that Falaknuma will start at 5.30 in the evening...13 hours late from its usual time...We managed the kids and luggage from the evil eyes of the crowded kolkota railway station...boarded the train and then I realized the best is almost going to end...all of us enjoyed the moment a lot...

Right then we got th enews that a power plant had burst at vizag so they are stopping all the trains...hmmm...god is great!

Well...you might think everything was fine after that...no dears not yet...

But yes...you are right...we were not stopped and we reached the Hyderabad at midnight on 7th....

I so wish the trip would have never ended as it was the best in my life. I learnt that I can handle kids very well without getting them to hate me...All of them loved me so much that they keep insisting me to quit my job and join as a teacher in their school...they were all lovely...And I would thank everyone in my team especially Sudha didi for being sucha wonderful friend and guide...And Ram for giving me this opportunity.

NOTE: PLS COME BACK AGAIN TO THIS BLOG AS I'LL POST SNAPS OF OUR CONDITION ON THE PLATFORM IN TWO DAYS TIME.
Here are the pics link...apart from the pics at the railway station there are a few others of the kids...pls check:

AT KOLKOTA RAILWAY STATION AND AT THE WORKSHOP

To all those parents out there...I have a request...do not treat teachers as slaves and instead trust them if they ever take up the responsibility to care for your child... I know your concern makes you do certain deeds but believe me if you respect the teachers they will respect your feelings.

Thanks for reading till this...I know its long..pardon me for the mistakes in grammar.

2008-06-19T00:37:00.000-07:00

Be Nice...

here is a forward sent to me by one of my friends...pls read it its worth it...

I FELT IT worth reading , take time and please read thru....
Have Passion!
It was probably the April of 1974. Bangalore was getting warm and
gulmohars were blooming at the IISc campus. I was the only girl in my
postgraduate department and was staying at the ladies' hostel. Other
girls were pursuing research in different departments of Science.
I was looking forward to going abroad to complete a doctorate in
computer science. I had been offered scholarships from Universities in
the US ... I had not thought of taking up a job in India .
One day, while on the way to my hostel from our lecture-hall complex, I
saw an advertisement on the notice board. It was a standard jobrequirement
notice from the famous automobile company Telco (now
Tata Motors)... It stated that the company required young, bright
engineers, hardworking and with an excellent academic background,
etc.
At the bottom was a small line: 'Lady Candidates need not apply.'
I read it and was very upset! . For the first time in my life I was up
against gender discrimination.
Though I was not keen on taking up the job, I saw it as a challenge. I
had done extremely well in academics, better than most of my male
peers...
Little did I know then that in real life academic excellence is not enough
to be successful?
After reading the notice I went fuming to my room. I decided to inform
the topmost person in Telco's management about the injustice the
company was perpetrating. I got a postcard and started to write, but
there was a problem: I did not know who headed Telco
I thought it must be one of the Tatas. I knew JRD Tata was the head of
the Tata Group; I had seen his pictures in newspapers (actually,
Sumant Moolgaokar was the company's chairman then) I took the card,
addressed it to JRD and started writing. To this day I remember clearly
what I wrote.
'The great Tatas have always been pioneers. They are the people who
started the basic infrastructure industries in India , such as iron and
steel, chemicals, textiles and locomotives they have cared for higher
education in India since 1900 and they were responsible for the
establishment of the Indian Institute of Science. Fortunately, I study
there. But I am surprised how a company such as Telco is
discriminating on the basis of gender.'
I posted the letter and forgot about it. Less than 10 days later, I received
a telegram stating that I had to appear for an interview at Telco's Pune
facility at the company's expense. I was taken aback by the telegram.
My hostel mate told me I should use the opportunity to go to Pune free
of cost and buy them the famous Pune saris for cheap! I collected Rs30
each from everyone who wanted a sari when I look back, I feel like
laughing at the reasons for my going, but back then they seemed good
enough to make the trip.
It was my first visit to Pune and I immediately fell in love with the city.
To this day it remains dear to me. I feel as much at home in Pune as I do
in Hubli, my hometown. The place changed my life in so many ways. As
directed, I went to Telco's Pimpri office for the interview.
There were six people on the panel and I realized then that this was
serious business.
'This is the girl who wrote to JRD,' I heard somebody whisper as soon
as I entered the room. By then I knew for sure that I would not get the
job. The realization abolished all fear from my mind, so I was rather
cool while the interview was being conducted.
Even before the interview started, I reckoned the panel was biased, so I
told them, rather impolitely, 'I hope this is only a technical interview.'
They were taken aback by my rudeness, and even today I am ashamed
about my attitude.
The panel asked me technical questions and I answered all of them.
Then an elderly gentleman with an affectionate voice told me, 'Do you
know why we said lady candidates need not apply? The reason is that
we have never employed any ladies on the shop floor. This is not a co-ed
college; this is a factory. When it comes to academics, you are a first
ranker throughout. We appreciate that, but people like you should work
in research laboratories.
I was a young girl from small-town Hubli. My world had been a limited
place.
I did not know the ways of large corporate houses and their difficulties,
so I answered, 'But you must start somewhere, otherwise no woman will
ever be able to work in your factories.'
Finally, after a long interview, I was told I had been successful. So this
was what the future had in store for me. Never had I thought I would
take up a job in Pune. I met a shy young man from Karnataka there, we
became good friends and we got married.
It was only after joining Telco that I realized who JRD was: the
uncrowned king of Indian industry. Now I was scared, but I did not get
to meet him till I was transferred to Bombay. One day I had to show
some reports to Mr Moolgaokar, our chairman, who we all knew as
SM.. I was in his office on the first floor of Bombay House (the Tata
headquarters) when, suddenly JRD walked in. That was the first time I
saw 'appro JRD'. Appro means 'our' in Gujarati. This was the
affectionate term by which people at Bombay House called him.
I was feeling very nervous, remembering my postcard episode. SM
introduced me nicely, 'Jeh (that's what his close associates called him),
this young woman is an engineer and that too a postgraduate.
She is the first woman to work on the Telco shop floor.' JRD looked at
me. I was praying he would not ask me any questions about my
interview (or the postcard that preceded it).
Thankfully, he didn't. Instead, he remarked. 'It is nice that girls are
getting into engineering in our country. By the way, what is your
name?'
'When I joined Telco I was Sudha Kulkarni, Sir,' I replied. 'Now I am
Sudha Murthy.' He smiled and kindly smile and started a discussion
with SM. As for me, I almost ran out of the room.
After that I used to see JRD on and off. He was the Tata Group
chairman and I was merely an engineer. There was nothing that we had
in common. I was in awe of him.
One day I was waiting for Murthy, my husband, to pick me up after
office hours. To my surprise I saw JRD standing next to me. I did not
know how to react. Yet again I started worrying about that postcard.
Looking back, I realize JRD had forgotten about it. It must have been a
small incident for him, but not so for me.
'Young lady, why are you here?' he asked. 'Office time is over.' I said,
'Sir, I'm waiting for my husband to come and pick me up.' JRD said, 'It
is getting dark and there's no one in the corridor.
I'll wait with you till your husband comes.'
I was quite used to waiting for Murthy, but having JRD waiting
alongside made me extremely uncomfortable.
I was nervous. Out of the corner of my eye I looked at him. He wore a
simple white pant and shirt. He was old, yet his face was glowing. There
wasn't any air of superiority about him. I was thinking, 'Look at this
person. He is a chairman, a well-respected man in our country and he is
waiting for the sake of an ordinary employee.'
Then I saw Murthy and I rushed out. JRD called and said, 'Young lady,
tell your husband never to make his wife wait again.' In 1982 I had to
resign from my job at Telco. I was reluctant to go, but I really did not
have a choice. I was coming down the steps of Bombay House after
wrapping up my final settlement when I saw JRD coming up. He was
absorbed in thought. I wanted to say goodbye to him, so I stopped. He
saw me and paused.
Gently, he said, 'So what are you doing, Mrs. Kulkarni?' (That was the
way he always addressed me..) 'Sir, I am leaving Telco.'
'Where are you going?' he asked. 'Pune, Sir. My husband is starting a !
company called Infosys and I'm shifting to Pune.'
'Oh! And what will you do when you are successful.'
'Sir, I don't know whether we will be successful.' 'Never start with
diffidence,' he advised me 'Always start with confidence. When you are
successful you must give back to society. Society gives us so much; we
must reciprocate. Wish you all the best.'
Then JRD continued walking up the stairs. I stood there for what
seemed like a millennium. That was the last time I saw him alive.
Many years later I met Ratan Tata in the same Bombay House,
occupying the chair JRD once did. I told him of my many sweet
memories of working with Telco. Later, he wrote to me, 'It was nice
hearing about Jeh from you.
The sad part is that he's not alive to see you today.'
I consider JRD a great man because, despite being an extremely busy
person, he valued one postcard written by a young girl seeking justice.
He must have received thousands of letters everyday. He could have
thrown mine away, but he didn't do that. He respected the intentions of
that unknown girl, who had neither influence nor money, and gave her
an opportunity in his company. He did not merely give her a job; he
changed her life and mindset forever.
Close to 50 per cent of the students in today's engineering colleges are
girls. And there are women on the shop floor in many industry
segments. I see these changes and I think of JRD. If at all time stops and
asks me what I want from life, I would say I wish JRD were alive today
to see how the company we started has grown. He would have enjoyed it
wholeheartedly.
My love and respect for the House of Tata remains undiminished by the
passage of time. I always looked up to JRD. I saw him as a role model
for his simplicity, his generosity, his kindness and the care he took of his
employees. Those blue eyes always reminded me of the sky; they had the
same vastness and magnificence.
(Sudha Murthy is a widely published writer and chairperson of the Infosys
Foundation involved in a number of social development initiatives. Infosys
chairman Narayana Murthy is her husband.)
Article sourced from: Lasting Legacies (Tata Review- Special Commemorative
Issue 2004), brought out by the house of Tatas to commemorate the 100th birth
anniversary of JRD Tata on July 29, 2004 .
BE NICE TO PEOPLE ON YOUR WAY UP,
FOR YOU NEVER KNOW,
WHOM YOU WILL MEET, ON YOUR WAY DOWN.

2008-02-04T02:06:00.000-08:00

Ah well yet another rare creation of mine!

RAJAVENU- THE CUT-THROAT LIAR MEETS HIS MASTER

Not everyone can lie! This isn't an opinion but a fact.

Rajavenu, seemed to have mastered the art of lying. And was quite impressed with his own capabilities that was shared by very few. But the day was close when he would meet his ultimate master in disguise.

Initially what began as a way to pull a leg or too, was now a habit that came naturally to Rajavenu. As his fate brought him closer to the date he was to meet his master, our man got frequent opportunities to lie under anyone's nose...quite literally!

One fine day a huge crowd assembled before a huge mansion not far away from our so very favorite Rajavenu's place of dwelling. Curious as all to know what was of such an importance, Rajavenu, with his dear friend, walked towards the house. After all, curiosity is bad only for cats and not for intellectually evolved living beings like human beings!

After a few obvious questions starting from what and how, Rajavenu got hold of the primary information required for his next and probably the ultimate lie that would make him eligible to find his master.

Well...it sure is human tendency to twist and turn the facts along with spicing it up a little, but to altogether forget the facts and being able to produce a convincing lie is a rare art. Well equipped with this rare art as Rajavenu was, it wasn't a surprise that he became the crowd puller to tell the public in general what had happened in the mansion where an old man's dead body lay in bits and pieces.

Here is the story that Rajavenu cooked to the horror of the crowd...(Gasps and contorted faces of the listeners is your part to imagine...after all I am not an accomplished writer you know!):

The dead man was a well-known astrologer of the north and knew that his death was approaching him. With an intention to avert his death, he shuts himself up in his house. He removed all the possible Weapons of Destruction (Not the one that US was searching...well it never materialized though). But death caught him at night. The celling fan in his room came crashing down while he was sleeping and cut him down into pieces.

Awestruck hearing this story, people retreated out of sheer horror.

Next thing Rajavenu had to go through was a gyan class from his dear friend who would not let him become an estranged being beaten up by people because of his excess creative talent.

Determined to channelize Rajavenu's creative talent, his friend advised him to take up writing as a profession. (Perhaps he belonged to a school that believes that lie is just another imaginative way to express.)

As guided by his loyal friend, our man Rajavenu ended up at this highly creative and probably the most precious friend that his friend had got- the famous movie director who made only laugh riots!

As he was waiting at the Director's house, Rajavenu observed the posh lifestyle- the French Window, the tastefully done drawing room and wondered how would his life turn out to be once he becomes a writer.

The director came in with a warm smile on his face and sat down to explore the possibilities of Rajavenu being accepted as a writer in the film industry. Without a moment of delay Rajavenu narrated the long list of his creative writings- that were never written- never even thought off. And to top all that he started flattering the Director for all his laugh riots and commercial hits. When Rajavenu asked him the reason behind him making only laugh riots or happy ending films, the Director grew a little serious! Pointing towards the open French Window that was facing the beautiful lawn he narrated his secret that led him hate tragedy and take up the whole task of making people laugh...

Director's Story:

"Mine was a happy family! I, my wife and my little daughter Sara. This window used to be her favorite. She never took the door but always jumped out of the French Window to reach the lawn. One day a rabies infected dog somehow made his way to the lawn. It bit my little daughter when she and her mother where playing in the lawn. My wife helplessly witnessed the horrifying seen and became insane. Till date she imagines Sara to be playing with her. Look there she is thinking Sara is playing with her...(A lady appears in the lawn..she is calling out Sara's name and pretending to play with her). This is my story. And that is why I make happy ending films. there is enough sorrow in this world."

The Director wiped his tears. Rajavenu didn't know how to express his grief over what had happened to this dear entertainer when suddenly the kid also appeared in the lawn and started playing with the lady. Unable to digest that he might be seeing the dead, Rajavenu asked the Director if he can see the kid with its mother. The Director got furious and accused Rajavenu of gesticulating with him. Rajavenu freaked out as the mother and daughter jumped in through the open French Window.

Rajavenu ran for his life and reached his friend to tell what happened with him. Listening to his rather expressive narration of what happened at the Director's place, his friend replied:

Lie at short notice is not just your specialty friend! You have a master in that case you know! Well...congratulations, for all the imaginative stories you cooked up at the spur of the moment you've earned the chance to write for his next film! But sure he wasn't going to let you think that you've convinced the master of the craft in believing the lies you said...

2007-12-19T21:44:00.000-08:00

For Raj...

It will be an year (23rd of December) since I've seen you or spoken to you...and probably a life long of missing your presence Raj!
But a soul like yours has done so much for friends and for general good that it is difficult to feel that you are no more.
Yesterday I just happen to flip through the pages of one of last year's Hyderabad based magazines and found photographs and mention of the great rally that was taken out against reservations in India. And I couldn't help but search your face among the numerous faces in the photograph. An ever glowing lamp for a person whose soul will never lose the spark!

Just a few lines for you dear...

A random thought or so about you,
A random search for you among the few,
lends me a moment of silence...which often
feels like a conversation with you!

2007-08-19T22:26:00.000-07:00

This is a forward which my friend Reshma sent me...something I really believe in. Actually the topic fits my Ivoice it blog but because I haven't written it I am posting it in my views blog. Do not forget to comment if you happen to stumble upon it. The post is my tribute to India's 60 years of Independence.

Stronger Rupee = Stronger India

Let me ask a question first.

What type of economic strength is preferable to India?

A) A strong Indian economy fueled by its cheap labor due to a weaker rupee against dollar, where the Indians end up working in shifts, late nights, whole nights and what not… only doing low profile jobs which foreign companies want to offload to India, so that they can concentrate on high end works and become even better. For instance in IT field, providing BPO services, support and maintenance work for products…

B) A strong Indian economy fueled by its strong innovations and products, no matter whether the rupee is strong or weak against dollar.. where Indians work only in regular office hours of 9 to 6, developing cutting edge technologies and solutions, selling our world class products both inside and outside India. For instance in IT field, imagine operating systems, compilers, databases etc all coming out of India..

I do not deny the fact that the IT boom in India came to a large extent because of (A). Well and good, we have had the benefits of our cost being cheap in western markets due to a weak rupee against dollar.. We have had our share because of this advantage in the past 2 decades..

But at the same time doesn’t it make sense to move towards (B), instead of crying foul against rupee becoming stronger against dollar?

What a pity! Indian IT companies are feeling bad because rupee is becoming stronger against dollar! Reason, their profits will go down when the value of rupee is stronger, as every single dollar that comes into their account now means lesser rupee than earlier..(if for instance earlier they used to get 47 rupees for every dollar that comes in, but today its about 40!)

But isn’t this a matter of celebration? Our rupee is gaining importance internationally and is becoming stronger again.. How many of us know that in 1947 when India got independence 1 Rupee was 1.2 US dollars?

These Indian IT companies instead of relying on a weaker rupee for their profit should now look at coming out with innovative products and technical solutions. What have these companies done in the arena of core system products? Why don’t we have any operating systems, compilers, database systems, development platforms etc coming out of India? Why don’t we develop tools like photoshop or flash? We have talent, but they all are working in American companies on these products.. Cannot our Indian IT companies setup at least small teams to develop such products?

Instead they are planning to make their employees work on saturdays too ! So that their profits can increase due to extra hours the employees put in.. As if India doesnt have any other option other than cheap labour, workaholic labor!! Are there no brains in India who can setup companies developing products and make money just by printing out more serial numbers and burning their product DVDs?

If Indian companies continue to depend on its weak currency, then how would Indian economy survive in a world where all currencies have equal value? Survival of the fittest.. Only greater innovation can help us in that case..

We need to have knowledge and technological advantage if India wants to become a superpower, not low cost based cheap labor advantage! Let the Chinese do it..

I hope that rupee becomes more and more stronger so that Indians are forced to use their brains and come up with innovative products and next generation technologies, than to provide low end services…

We need to create a situation where other countries line up to buy our F-16s, to buy our operating systems, to buy our mobile phones and I-pods, to buy our Boeing, to buy our Mercedes…

A stronger rupee means we can easily afford foreign trips!

“A stronger rupee means Indians can buy things anywhere in the world on par with developed economies! We dont have to spend crores of rupees then to buy a Boeing! We don’t have to pay tens of thousands of rupees for international air travels! A stronger rupee means greater international exposure! There wont be a difference between buying a Maruti and buying a Mercedes! One can go on a trip to the Grand Canyon just like the way one goes to Ladakh or Nepal ! How do you think american citizens are able to tour all over the world? Because they earn more? No. But because their currency USD is stronger.. and this is where a strong rupee will lead us to!…“

I am not saying providing low end services is wrong .. It gave us a very good start in the 90s. But that should definitely not be the bread and butter fueling our economic boom indefinitely in the future.. For the simple reason that it can’t continue to do so any longer.. other low cost destinations, cheaper than India are already coming up in the world… Let us move ahead… become more innovative.. the journey has just started… This is just the beginning of all the beginnings…

2007-06-20T21:44:00.000-07:00

Marriage woes and interviews…

Hmm…It has been long since I wrote anything. And of course no one but I am supposed to be blamed for that. The internship story that I intended to write is very much an intention still. So it will take time to get published. In the meanwhile I have some interesting things to tell.

During one of my expeditions to find work in media I landed up at the door of a famous radio station in Hyderabad. Let us name it ‘X’ for the time being (As decency demands- I am not suppose to reveal the original name of the organization). Well the story began some 8 months ago when the radio station was at its inception level and I was called for the interview for a producer’s post. Everything went fine and I also said yes to the peanuts (when I say ‘peanuts’, I mean it literally) they offered me. Thinking- as a fresher the opportunity itself is the greatest salary I can have, I kept hope to hear the final call from them. The call did come but with a few changes. They told me I don’t have enough experience and therefore I am not taken.

So…What did I think? Well there wasn’t much to think…as usual I joined a ‘decent’ 9 to 6 job with a ‘decent’ salary.

Eventually ‘X’ called me again after a couple of months and expressed a wish to hire me. ‘Perhaps they are in severe dearth of people’ I thought. But this time I was a little apprehensive about the peanuts they offered me. So they again backed off their offer for the less than ‘decent’ salary I asked for. I thought it is ‘The End’ of the matter.

Amazingly a month ago ‘X’ knocked at my door again and this time with an interesting profile. Also I had a little amount of experience in internet radio to boast about. I told them ‘the profile was indeed interesting but I also need a ‘decent’ package (when I write ‘decent’ it doesn’t mean the eligible one, in stead it means a ‘manageable’ one) as I have my parents to look after and also save for a marriage somewhere in future’ (I thought, as a 24 year old woman, saving for your own marriage and not burdening your parents was a responsible thing to do). The deal was fixed and the papers were supposed to arrive in a couple of weeks.

By now you must have already guessed how unprofessional things have been with ‘X’, so naturally, ‘I’ who was the subject of the above incidents was extra careful not to expect a ready acceptance call. And I was proved right- the HR lady spoke to me about the official matter.

NOTE: She spoke to me when I was striking a personal conversation with my friend, who works in ‘X’, over phone at my own expense (thoroughly unprofessional I thought).

Anyway, the lady tells me my resume was on hold because I mentioned saving for ‘marriage’ during my talk with her. For a second I couldn’t understand what she was trying to communicate. Probably she realized that I was confused and was kind enough to explain things further. She said, “We were wondering if you will continue to work with us in case you get married and that’s why your resume is on hold”.

I clarified saying, “Nothing apart from an unhealthy work atmosphere and a low salary package can induce me to quit the job.” I thought, that sentence should satisfy the lady’s query but she went ahead and asked me again when was I getting married. My answer was ‘I don’t Know…I just said I have to save money’!

Now that was a genuine reaction from my side but probably the lady got vexed. She said she will get back to me but I haven’t heard from her till now. I have no hopes that she will ever get back to me! Probably because she must have thought that after three years I might have a kid to look after so how will I continue working then- future vision I presume. I wonder if she plans to take up celibacy!!!

So I learned two things-

(a) Being a woman, never mention your personal interests in family if you intend to join a firm (not even when you think you can pass yourself off as the responsible woman who could manage home and work).

(b) Don’t try to be genuine while attending interviews. Lie under the person’s nose and you will get the job.

And so I am back to my expeditions again.

Just Imagine Sand Art

2007-02-27T20:06:00.000-08:00


Sand Art Imagine New Age Keltic Music Beautiful

2006-12-26T20:32:00.000-08:00

The cute fellow whom I love beyond any boundaries of relationship is somewhere where I am unable to trace him…I will never be able to talk about you in past tense Raj. And that is because I still feel I’ll just give you a miss call and you will call back. When every area of this Hyderabad I know is full your memories, I can just think that you are somewhere in this world beyond contact and will definitely come back one day to say ‘I am back’ as you used to say while we chatted. But it hurts beyond imagination to think that every morning I’ll sign in to chat and your status will never appear. It hurts that you will not be able to give me instructions to improve my blog, the way it looks. It hurts that you will no more make calls at midnight just to wake me up from my sleep to say good night. It hurts that you will no more argue on the clothes we should shop for or the place where we should have a get together with all the members in our disastrous and naughty team. It hurts that we will no more dance to the groovy numbers that only you and me like in our team. It hurts that we will no more exchange unnecessary compliments to each other and then say ‘lite le’! It hurts that we will no more have crazy long walks like we had on the other evening- from Hyderabad Central to Shyamlal. It hurts that you will no more scold me for being upset for silly reasons and for saying n number of ‘sorry’ and ‘thank you’ to you. It hurts that you will never comment on this blog of mine saying “pichchi pilla I am back na…”.

More than my losing all these fine moments in life, humanity has lost one of its beacons. You have done things that many well-settled people wouldn’t even think of. You are a perfect example of a youngster being perfectly a part of this generation and still aware of every single sorrow and mishap around. I bow to you for having brought my ideals in place. I bow to you to have shown that, one needn’t put up a face of an intellectual to become an angel. There is just one thing I am happy about when I write this blog in your absence is that I have always told you all this and complimented you for this. I have no feeling that tells me I should have told you how special you are to me.

At this very moment there is no strength left to fight. I hate this situation; I want to break out of this situation. Everyone is telling to be brave and be strong. I don't understand why? Can’t we have our own time to live this grief and try to change and survive the shock god has given us. People please give us some time we’ll manage but don’t stop us from breaking down. We are not able to stand individually but we will stand together collectively.

Raj you were the best among all of us. The most inspiring person! And if you are watching us from any place, we will make sure you will also be proud of us as we are of you. You will live through us…these are not mere words. You have inspired us beyond comprehension and this fire will never die. I promise dear! And I will pass on this message of humanity throughout my life and also after my life if I attain the amount of passion that you had for humanity. Kudos to you for having inspired many among your friends. Life was like a dream with you around. But I am sure I will be able to bring that zeal in me back because I know you are already on your way to be back with all of us, in some way or the other. The amount of love and care you invested in making all of us happy are going to bloom and you will be proud of all of us. I promise about myself and about the others…I know every one loves you so much that we will compete to prove who loves you the most! And I am sure I will win. I love you a lot dear! I am waiting for you. People who think I am mad to do so will see how I find you back, but in which form…that I don’t know.

2006-12-03T23:34:00.000-08:00

The Jaipur journey begins:

11:30 in the night on the 16^th of June we landed at Sindhi Camp bus stop Jaipur. The moment we step down the bus we see a friendly man holding a placard with our names on it. For the first time I realized how a foreigner would feel on an alien land. Within seconds we were surrounded by auto-wallas, taxi drivers and coolies and it didn’t matter to them that we have got our own vehicle to take us to our destination. Somehow we managed to wade through the crowd (me already fretting and fuming at the unexpected and unpleasant intrusion).

It was a long and dark journey towards the institution- Indian Institute of Health Management and Research (IIHMR). The institution is near the Sanganer Airport and therefore in a secluded area. Though the institute looked spooky at 12 in the night, I was happy to have learnt that we will have a whole house to ourselves- apartment C1. A small but a decent living room (with a television set and a telephone), two rooms with attached bathrooms, a small and dusty kitchen (which was of no use to us through out our stay) and of course Air Coolers in both the rooms (about which Liam, unlike Zoё and me, was very excited). Liam politely insisted on taking the comparatively smaller room as he need not share it with another person, thanks to Jatin (a name which would often appear in our conversation citing how better or worse things would be with him around). With no intention to start our work on a weekend we decided not to have an early morning and so all of us went to bed. But contrary to our plan a lady and a man from the house keeping department of the institution came at 6:30 in the morning to get the details of the foreigners who have stepped into their campus the night before. By mistake they ended up making me fill my details too (in spite of my skepticism) in the same form but then they realized their mistake later. That was the start of our encounters with the department…you will soon realize how frequent we needed them to be around us.

After a vain attempt to sleep again we decided to go for breakfast to the canteen that was at a small distance from our apartment (as per the instructions given by the house keeping department). Just before we were about to leave our apartment, Liam came up with a question- he seemed pretty confused with the plastic thing in the Bathroom, which wasn’t actually a tumbler but seemed like one. Zoё and I spelt it out for him- it is a ‘Bucket’. Well now you must have fairly got an idea as to what lies in store for you guys to read in my blog. There are more of such profound questions by all three of us to come. And we tried our level best to answer each other’s strange queries.

A tar road separated our apartment compound and the institution compound. The canteen block fell in between the Gate and the main building. The construction of the institution was very impressive- (I really regret my incapacity to describe the construction-so just visit the link IIHMR on my 'worth giving a look section' of my blog). The food was good and we were bewildered because people around us called us ‘madam’ and ‘Sir’ (the sudden realization that I wasn’t a student but a professional struck me hard). Somehow it gave me a feeling that I can’t fool around anymore and that I have to be serious… don’t worry people, as you all know me very well I never caught up with the image. In fact I and Liam were sometimes so ridiculous that Zoё really had to give us the kind of look that meant- Can’t you guys be a little sensible. And it is true that Zoё was much more mature in all ways than us but don’t be mistaken she wasn’t at all a serious faced person. In fact she is the most humorous of all the people I have ever met. One could learn from her how to take life in its stride without cribbing about it. And Liam, the only person whom I felt was exactly like me in more than one ways, is lot of fun to be around. He is the kind of person with whom anyone would feel comfortable. Oh god…I think I should leave it up to you to decide how good both of them are from my blogs. So to carry on with my first day (don’t worry I won’t explain each day so elaborately as this one)…we met our Supervisor Dr Satish, a very adorable person who will give you all due respect regardless of whom you are. We decided to start work on Monday (that day being a Saturday). In the evening all three of us plan to visit the famous Jaipur bazaars to buy some necessary items like a packet of washing powder, a rope and many eatables… guys I need a break and I think you too. Bye for now!!! (God I love punctuation marks)

2006-11-02T21:38:00.000-08:00

2006-10-25T03:35:00.000-07:00

Orientation:

Nothing special to talk about our grand orientation that was conducted at India Habitat Center (yes the huge building you can see in Rang de Basanti). But if I do not mention the sumptuous meals that we were given it will be an injustice from my quarters. Indeed to be truthful I have never seen such grandeur in my life in terms of food and I must say I love Pasta! With exceptionally boring sessions not just in the mornings but also in the afternoons I could barely keep my eyes opened. But I tried my best to keep my eyes, if not my brain, open to the on goings.

I must say that in spite of being in Hyderabad Central University for past two years I never tried hard to speak to international students as such. Not because I was being a snob but because I never thought any of them can relate to me in any ways. But now at the orientation with half of the hall filled with international students I had to buck up my courage and speak to them. And I found that they were actually not as different as I had thought they would be. And an incident gave me more reasons to try my luck: all of them, along with the national students, seemed to be excited at the news of remuneration for the four days of our orientation. But who wouldn’t be if someone pays you for sitting through their sessions! And so I met my first team mate Zoë!

I introduced myself to Zoë, and actually was a little relieved that she wasn’t too upset to see me as her team mate. But even before we could explore deeply about how good we were to each other our major concern became our team mates. Yes the male community in our team- Mr Jatin and Mr Liam. Now both of us hadn’t seen these two individuals on the first day and were extremely worried about our upcoming project which included both research and video documentation. Answering to our queries the organizers told us that Mr Jatin had dropped out of the internship program and Mr Liam had faced problems with his flight. So we slowly settled with the fact that we were only three in our team now. Liam didn’t come for two days and I and Zoë had to do all the team building exercises. And during one of those exercises both I and Zoë found that both of us are disastrous at sketching. Finally Liam came on the third day. But we were glad that at least he got to do one team building exercise with us. My skepticism of being with two foreigners continued and I hardly stayed out with them (only to know how stupid I was).

On the day we were supposed to leave to our respective posting places, we- the Jaipur team, were almost left alone as the others had already taken off to their destinations. As there was no other go except to be with my team mates I decided to face the reality and experience the much dreaded task of bonding with them. Our Bus was at 5 in the evening so we planned to go to the ISKCON temple and the Bahai temple (there starts my first chapter of learning new things! I was completely ignorant about the Bahai faith.)

First time I saw the copy of the much heard of travel guide- “Lonely Planet” and was quite amazed about the details in it. Zoë should be credited for that because we followed the lonely planet through out our trip. By the time I came back I knew one thing that I do not stand out in my team and that my team mates can actually decipher my ways or rather are nice enough to tolerate my ways! I became much more comfortable with them and believe me it was a relief for me. I really regret the moments I delayed to make friends with my dear team mates.

5 p.m the bus started and also our memorable journey to Jaipur as a team. Remaining part of the narration will have to wait for a few days! And yes I still can’t upload any image on to my blog.

2006-10-09T03:30:00.000-07:00

Hmm... It’s been long since I wrote something. I have no one but me to blame for this delay. But I promise that this journey of yours through whatever I have in store for you may not be bad.

Three months of my UNICEF internship at a very new place, with new people, new food, surprising revelations and of course new fun was not just a passing affair for me. Therefore I decide to pen it down on my blog.

This blog will have many parts and if my grey cells help me I might be able to upload some snaps worth having a look (not completely because of its creative beauty but also because of its content). So I begin with due citation of my dear friend Liam’s blog space: http://niffirg-mail.blogspot.com/ . His blog, If not mine, I am sure, will definitely ensure how adventurous the journey was.

And of course before I start I would confess that... I got a culture shock-at times pleasant and at times infuriating when I saw an India that was completely different from my concept. Nevertheless my experience was more romantic than what I had thought it would be and all this only because of my dear friends Zoë and Liam. This part of my life would have never been so interesting without them.

The journey begins

June 11, 2006 early morning I boarded the AP Express. Amal came to drop me and as usual I showed a gloomy face for leaving my favorite place, completely ignorant of the fun that I’ll be having for the coming three months. Amal was patient and gave me a list of ‘things to be careful’ about. Not that he is one of those sorts who will give long list of things to be done but considering the fact that it was me who was traveling it was apt of him to give me instructions. And I stuck to what he had advised me. Sometimes you should listen to people who are more careful than you are. Thanks dear I really care about what you say to me!

After contemplating for long, I decided to read “Ladies’ coupe” given by Raj as my farewell gift when all my favorites: Amal, Ram, Raj, Thulasi and Nasheeda met the previous day. We missed Pradeep, he wasn’t in Hyderabad to join us.

Opposite to me were a Punjabi couple and their kids- a daughter and a son. They seemed pretty amassed by Hyderabad and were traveling in groups. They had come to Hyderabad to get the traditional treatment for asthma. They were a happy go lucky family who passed their time by singing songs. But to be truthful I thought that ‘Uncle’ was a little too absorbed in constantly staring at me and addressing his songs to me which made me quite uncomfortable.

Well after the chivalric venture of mine to excuse myself from the hub I quietly cornered myself with the book.

12th June, yes the next day morning the moment I got down at New Delhi station at 10 a.m, whom do I see? Mr Ram, who constantly surprises me, was there to receive me. And that’s my dear Ram who never fails to give me pleasant surprises. Well you must be wondering how Ram reached Delhi when he was in Hyderabad the day before my departure. Exactly the question I had in my mind! Well he had an official work of his planned well in time for my arrival in Delhi and so he was there by flight before I could reach there by train. I am really fond of all your surprises dear!

Delhi was a new place for me and with a Delhi expert with me I had no hassles to reach the International Youth Hostel, where all the interns were put up. Nice place with lot of Malayalies around a bit too costly with no real visible royalty. Nevertheless comfortable!

And the narration continues in the next post. From next post onwards the characters change dramatically: it is going to be a ‘crazy’ Indian, who never knew she had little knowledge that her country was any different from other countries; an Aussie anthropologist who beats everyone with her ever ready sense of humour and an enthusiastic Canadian who can make people forget Gandhigiri with his thanks giving. (Zoë and Liam, dear I know you are not familiar with the term ‘Gandhigiri’, so this explanation is for you: Gandhigiri is the latest buzz word in India. It is nothing but promoting Gandhi’s value through daily act of yours. A movie called “Lago Raho Munnabhai” promoted it. It has gone for Oscars this time. Have a look at it!)

2006-02-10T21:27:00.000-08:00

The promised sequel…
It is more a visual diary than a story (more or less like a screenplay- powerful in visuals and sounds, along with emotions and less dialogues). The narrated incident is true but I’ve established it in a different place, in a dramatized fashion.

Dark cloudy night! The orange streetlight floods the Bus stop at the university small gate. Long array of cycles and the watchman’s cabin on the left. The watchman can be seen having his dinner in the white light inside the cabin. A bus screeches to a halt outside the gate.

A short, fat girl is seen unboarding the bus. The moment she steps on the road, the bus speeds ahead. Perplexed by the sudden action, the girl hurries towards the gate. Fat figure clad in jeans and shirt, with her bag put across her shoulder!

Pulling a key out of her front pocket she rushes through the gate towards the parked cycles. Quick in her action, she figures her red belled cycle, unlocks it and turns it towards the road, opposite to the gate. She turns her head towards the pattering sound of water droplets falling on the road. It has started drizzling!

As she peddles, the broken spoke of the back wheel makes a rhythmic ticking sound when it hits the steel of the cycle. Long empty road, with thick trees on one side and an open ground on the other! It’s dark and damp. The pattering sound of rain falling on the road and leaves, the ticking sound of the spoke and the speeding sound of the peddle fills the night.

The cycle speeds towards the white light at a distant junction. It takes a right turn. She lifts left hand, checks her watch and peddles faster. It’s dark and difficult to see. Wiping her eyes, she spots a puddle into which the cycle was heading. She clutches the breaks but “splash” goes the puddle water.

The cycle doesn’t stop. She tries clutching the breaks again- once, twice…no use, the breaks have failed her. She hits her hand on the handle out of frustration and stops peddling so that the cycle slows down.
The road starts becoming visible as the cycle nears the white light at the bus stop. The cycle has slowed down. There is a car parked beside the bus stop. A dark macho figure appears behind the car. He comes to the road as the cycle nears the car. He lifts his left hand as if to stop the cycle and shouts, “May I help you madam”.

Quick with a jolt, the girl turns the handle to move away from the man and starts peddling faster and faster, trying not to look behind.
The cycle speeds away. It has stopped drizzling, but it is still foggy!!!

I would conclude with the same note-
…safety and dignity, in this so called dignified society, remains a matter of concern for every girl, irrespective of their personal status. And therefore this is a sequel to the heartrending portrayal of the woman in rags.

2006-01-27T04:23:00.000-08:00

If Only I Could…

“Why do you have to board a running bus?” shouts the grimfaced lady bus conductor as I jump onto the running bus. “There is no 49M for the next fifteen minutes, I’ll be late for the rehearsals” I murmur justifying my most unreasonable act, half out of breath, but the conductor doesn’t listen.

Taking a ladies seat near the window, I notice that the bus is less crowded. “Madam” says a grumpy voice behind me- the conductor, with a very obvious frustrated tone in it. Probably because of people like me who board the bus exactly when it is most dangerous to step in. “Ek Begumpet” I say handing over a five rupee coin, nevertheless ashamed of my clumsy behaviour. She takes the change and giving me the ticket, walks over to the front seat. A tinkling sound comes from the seat as I see a small chubby hand giving a ten rupee note to the conductor. Pink bangles- goes very well with her fair colour! Her mother says “Ek Shopper’s stop”. I lean a bit to have a glance of the baby girl. Dressed in a pink frilled frock, her hair is tied neatly on both sides with pink ribbons. Pink is my favourite colour too!

The loud click of my spectacle box makes me aware of my customary act of reading in the bus. As I flip the pages of my book, the little girl’s voice and the grumbling roar of the bus fade into the impressions that I read.

A tinkling voice calls back my attention to the real world from a much preferred world of fiction. The little girl stands with her hands outstretched indicating her mother to carry her as she got up to get down. Realizing it’s time for me to get ready to get down at the next stop, I pack my bag. I watch the little girl clinging to her mother as they cross the crowd making way to the pavement. As I admire a mother’s assurance of safety to her kid, a disheveled figure appears at the back of the mother and her kid- A middle-aged woman, with brown, uncombed hair. She is carrying a baby girl who is holding on to her torn blouse.

With no fancy bangles on her skinny hands, no ribbons to tie her unkempt hair with, the girl looked far from being attractive in her blue oversized slip. The presences of the two figures make the crowd uncomfortable! As usual they stare at the living example of human suffering without letting their thoughts stay on it for a spilt second.

Suddenly the mother puts her kid down with a thud and moves further towards an open drainage lid. She spreads her long skirt and sits at the edge of the hole. Unable to make sense of the shocking site, I gape at the heartrending scene. How unimaginable her plight would be if she has to abandon her shame in a public place like this!

The bus slowly began to burr and after a few minutes I was there at my destination, crossing the road. Gaping absentmindedly at the road I walked with an unanswered question in my heart – should I thank my stars that I am not in place of that poor soul or should I be blamed for feeling completely gutless to go forward and listen to the deafening cries of my heart to do something for the deprived!

- A true incident that passed my eye and still remains as a sore in it. But something stroked me the other day, told me that safety and dignity are concerns for women in general irrespective of their personal status in the society. But the fact remains that the underdogs are the most vulnerable of the lot, in this society of highly ‘civilized’ people- where one is worse than the other. Sometimes through action and sometimes through inaction. In relation to the subject the story has a sequel…