The cute fellow whom I love beyond any boundaries of relationship is somewhere where I am unable to trace him…I will never be able to talk about you in past tense Raj. And that is because I still feel I’ll just give you a miss call and you will call back. When every area of this Hyderabad I know is full your memories, I can just think that you are somewhere in this world beyond contact and will definitely come back one day to say ‘I am back’ as you used to say while we chatted. But it hurts beyond imagination to think that every morning I’ll sign in to chat and your status will never appear. It hurts that you will not be able to give me instructions to improve my blog, the way it looks. It hurts that you will no more make calls at midnight just to wake me up from my sleep to say good night. It hurts that you will no more argue on the clothes we should shop for or the place where we should have a get together with all the members in our disastrous and naughty team. It hurts that we will no more dance to the groovy numbers that only you and me like in our team. It hurts that we will no more exchange unnecessary compliments to each other and then say ‘lite le’! It hurts that we will no more have crazy long walks like we had on the other evening- from Hyderabad Central to Shyamlal. It hurts that you will no more scold me for being upset for silly reasons and for saying n number of ‘sorry’ and ‘thank you’ to you. It hurts that you will never comment on this blog of mine saying “pichchi pilla I am back na…”.

More than my losing all these fine moments in life, humanity has lost one of its beacons. You have done things that many well-settled people wouldn’t even think of. You are a perfect example of a youngster being perfectly a part of this generation and still aware of every single sorrow and mishap around. I bow to you for having brought my ideals in place. I bow to you to have shown that, one needn’t put up a face of an intellectual to become an angel. There is just one thing I am happy about when I write this blog in your absence is that I have always told you all this and complimented you for this. I have no feeling that tells me I should have told you how special you are to me.

At this very moment there is no strength left to fight. I hate this situation; I want to break out of this situation. Everyone is telling to be brave and be strong. I don't understand why? Can’t we have our own time to live this grief and try to change and survive the shock god has given us. People please give us some time we’ll manage but don’t stop us from breaking down. We are not able to stand individually but we will stand together collectively.

Raj you were the best among all of us. The most inspiring person! And if you are watching us from any place, we will make sure you will also be proud of us as we are of you. You will live through us…these are not mere words. You have inspired us beyond comprehension and this fire will never die. I promise dear! And I will pass on this message of humanity throughout my life and also after my life if I attain the amount of passion that you had for humanity. Kudos to you for having inspired many among your friends. Life was like a dream with you around. But I am sure I will be able to bring that zeal in me back because I know you are already on your way to be back with all of us, in some way or the other. The amount of love and care you invested in making all of us happy are going to bloom and you will be proud of all of us. I promise about myself and about the others…I know every one loves you so much that we will compete to prove who loves you the most! And I am sure I will win. I love you a lot dear! I am waiting for you. People who think I am mad to do so will see how I find you back, but in which form…that I don’t know.

The Jaipur journey begins:

11:30 in the night on the 16^th of June we landed at Sindhi Camp bus stop Jaipur. The moment we step down the bus we see a friendly man holding a placard with our names on it. For the first time I realized how a foreigner would feel on an alien land. Within seconds we were surrounded by auto-wallas, taxi drivers and coolies and it didn’t matter to them that we have got our own vehicle to take us to our destination. Somehow we managed to wade through the crowd (me already fretting and fuming at the unexpected and unpleasant intrusion).

It was a long and dark journey towards the institution- Indian Institute of Health Management and Research (IIHMR). The institution is near the Sanganer Airport and therefore in a secluded area. Though the institute looked spooky at 12 in the night, I was happy to have learnt that we will have a whole house to ourselves- apartment C1. A small but a decent living room (with a television set and a telephone), two rooms with attached bathrooms, a small and dusty kitchen (which was of no use to us through out our stay) and of course Air Coolers in both the rooms (about which Liam, unlike Zoё and me, was very excited). Liam politely insisted on taking the comparatively smaller room as he need not share it with another person, thanks to Jatin (a name which would often appear in our conversation citing how better or worse things would be with him around). With no intention to start our work on a weekend we decided not to have an early morning and so all of us went to bed. But contrary to our plan a lady and a man from the house keeping department of the institution came at 6:30 in the morning to get the details of the foreigners who have stepped into their campus the night before. By mistake they ended up making me fill my details too (in spite of my skepticism) in the same form but then they realized their mistake later. That was the start of our encounters with the department…you will soon realize how frequent we needed them to be around us.

After a vain attempt to sleep again we decided to go for breakfast to the canteen that was at a small distance from our apartment (as per the instructions given by the house keeping department). Just before we were about to leave our apartment, Liam came up with a question- he seemed pretty confused with the plastic thing in the Bathroom, which wasn’t actually a tumbler but seemed like one. Zoё and I spelt it out for him- it is a ‘Bucket’. Well now you must have fairly got an idea as to what lies in store for you guys to read in my blog. There are more of such profound questions by all three of us to come. And we tried our level best to answer each other’s strange queries.

A tar road separated our apartment compound and the institution compound. The canteen block fell in between the Gate and the main building. The construction of the institution was very impressive- (I really regret my incapacity to describe the construction-so just visit the link IIHMR on my 'worth giving a look section' of my blog). The food was good and we were bewildered because people around us called us ‘madam’ and ‘Sir’ (the sudden realization that I wasn’t a student but a professional struck me hard). Somehow it gave me a feeling that I can’t fool around anymore and that I have to be serious… don’t worry people, as you all know me very well I never caught up with the image. In fact I and Liam were sometimes so ridiculous that Zoё really had to give us the kind of look that meant- Can’t you guys be a little sensible. And it is true that Zoё was much more mature in all ways than us but don’t be mistaken she wasn’t at all a serious faced person. In fact she is the most humorous of all the people I have ever met. One could learn from her how to take life in its stride without cribbing about it. And Liam, the only person whom I felt was exactly like me in more than one ways, is lot of fun to be around. He is the kind of person with whom anyone would feel comfortable. Oh god…I think I should leave it up to you to decide how good both of them are from my blogs. So to carry on with my first day (don’t worry I won’t explain each day so elaborately as this one)…we met our Supervisor Dr Satish, a very adorable person who will give you all due respect regardless of whom you are. We decided to start work on Monday (that day being a Saturday). In the evening all three of us plan to visit the famous Jaipur bazaars to buy some necessary items like a packet of washing powder, a rope and many eatables… guys I need a break and I think you too. Bye for now!!! (God I love punctuation marks)